Week 16

We had 15 incredible weeks with a sweet, easy going babe. Then came week 16. one word - teething!
Our sweet little cherub turned into a screaming banshee who could not be settled no matter what I did.  Thank goodness there were some public holidays meaning that Ross was home to help for some of the days. Teething also coincided with a four month sleep regression so sleep has just not happened. 2 hours in a row seems like a luxury. It's been insane. I feel terrible that I can't help or do anything. Mom guilt is so real. How can I take care of another human when i'm struggling to take care of myself?
The screaming - oh the screaming! Next level but we don't know how to help!

A letter to my boy on his first birthday

A letter to my sweet baby boy on your first birthday.

My Dearest jack. 

You have brought so much joy into our lives. I can’t actually fathom how you are a whole year old! I can remember your birth SO clearly. It was hard, sore but oh so worth it. The first few days with you were a bit weird. It was hard to know what you wanted or needed, and feeding hurt! But we got the hang of it and pretty quickly we began to forget what it was like without you there. 

When you reached 16 weeks things got SO hard. You didn’t want to eat or sleep. My hormones played havoc with me and it felt like things would never get better. But, that phase passed and now it feels like a blimp on the map of your life. 11 months was also a difficult age. You only wanted to be with me and would howl if I put you down. So much so that I even had you on my lap when I went to the loo sometimes! You were such a sweet little bub that you made having a baby seem ok to so many around us. 

You are a very chilled out and passive guy. But, you know your mind. Don’t like something and you’ll let us know. You have a lot of patience with other children but you do reach a tipping point.

You like to take your time and observe before jumping in, whether it be into an activity, or smiling at someone. Once that smile comes it’s like you’ve hit the jackpot. Your smile lights up your entire being. 

I am so proud to be your mom. You are the most beautiful little boy and you love to be around people. With that being said, you don’t like it if people are too in your face. You like attention but not too much at one time. You are happiest sitting and observing. You love putting things into each other and taking them out again. Tubs and measuring cups are your favourite! As long as you have something in your hand you are happy - a toy, a pen, a spatular. You didn’t want to crawl but just wanted to walk. 

One of my most favorite things about you is when you finish your milk, throw your head back, crane your neck as long as possible and smack your lips with “pha aaah”. This little face was so special as it's one that only I got to see as I nursed you. What a bond that created.  As you’ve gotten older, this has changed to you saying “aaah” every time you see a drink or walk into the kitchen. 

You are so patient with your mom. As a little baba you were happy to go anywhere and everywhere. We walked all over District 7 with you in your pram with a little fan on you. You barely complained but this has made you happy to chill in your pram which is so helpful to us now. 

You are so blessed to have the Dad that you do. He is so hands on and always ready to change your nappy. He takes you for runs and he reads you stories for hours so that you will fall asleep. I get irritated and let you cry, but not your Dad. I do spend a lot more time with you so you have worn on my patience more. But still. Your Dad is the sweetest with you and just loves to make you smile. 

I’m writing this with tears in my eyes as you are just the sweetest little soul. You’ve made motherhood magical and you’ve made me want to have another baby because the world needs another soul like you. Keep being kind and you will shine my sweet boy. The world is yours for the taking and I love you more than words can ever express.

All my love,

Mom

2.1.2019